This is the story of Olivia. These photos, made almost exclusively in her one-bedroom apartment, explore the emotions that accompany self-harm, depression and anxiety. With Olivia I hope to increase awareness and create a place to begin an open dialogue about self-harm.
Each photo is paired with a text message from Olivia.
I might not have anything going on today now, that being said I'm probably not going to get out of bed. so, I'll keep you posted.
i don't have any choice. I just wish it didn't feel so hard to do.
last year I called the counseling center here and after telling them everything that was wrong, they told me they couldn't help me there, and that just really embarrassed me and left me slightly more hopeless than before hand.
I have half of it done. it's not hard. I would rather just take myself apart than have to write some stupid fucking paper.
this was a matter of carelessness, not wearing out over time. and now I'm a mess because I can't handle much of anything. I don't know how to pick myself up right now.
I know, I just feel bad that I don't ever do anything particularly different.
I'm so anxious.
it's like coming in waves.
I don't have much concept of consequence anymore. nothing I do really seems to matter one way or another, this is just a facet of that mindset.
I broke my necklace. the one my mom got for me to replace the one I fucking lost last year that she got me. I'm not going to class today, I can't fuck up anymore.
most people i know who self harmed grew out of it.
I just wanna scratch my skin off.
I just get ignored anytime I do that, I'd rather stay home.
I don't particularly care about preventing myself from doing it. I have to work on dealing with it on my own anyways.
I just wish I could get through 24 hours without feeling like a fucking mess, feeling maybe a little normalized.
I hurt myself this morning /: but I made a conscious effort not to do something that's going to ruin my skin, and I think that's the best baby step I can handleright now.
I burned myself with a lighter this morning, I'm trying to be good and not cut but this doesn't feel good enough /:
idk if it's helpful at this point, but I couldn't give you a definitive answer before, but I'm pretty sure sex is one of my biggest triggers. after reading my old journals, it makes more sense.
also, hoppy easter 🐰
to try and stop hurting myself? I don't think I would have said that. I had said I was to a point where I was hurting myself as much as I was back in high school. maybe it was implied that I wanted to be better.